Being an Atheist at Christmas is Confusing

Being an atheist at Christmas is confusing. I mean, you know how you feel about church. You know how you feel about funerals. You know how you handle relatives and coworkers. You have to deal with all of those things and there are pretty well established ways of handling situations and people. You figure out what works and you find a nice balance between standing firm and being peaceable.

But Christmas is difference. You're not confronted with it every day like many other situations. It only comes around once a year after all. And every year it seems to be different.

When I was a little kid, it was about Santa and the whole presents thing. Then you figure out Santa is pretend just like every other kid eventually does and it becomes about all the other stuff that every kid thinks about Christmas. It's about getting good presents, getting good at giving good presents, good eats, and visiting Grandma's house. It's about and music and lights on the tree and anticipation of what is to come and listening to the Muppets and John Denver's Christmas album.

Then, as a young adult it becomes more about learning independence. For the first time you have the freedom to decorate your own house as you see fit. You develop the rationalization that it's ok to celebrate because it's almost all pagan stuff anyway. You send cheeky Christmas cards saying Happy Solstice.

Then you have kids of your own. Now, things are more complicated. I spent the first Christmas after my daughter was born thinking about how I was going to handle Santa. (I've decided to tell her from the beginning that Santa is pretend just like Elmo. And that Elmo isn't any less fun because he's pretend, so Santa can be fun too.)

But now, I feel like I need to teach her what Christmas is all about. What do you tell a two year old about Christmas? It reminds me of Southpark's Cartman's rendition of Holy Night. "Jesus was born, so I get preseants." That just seems wack to tell a two year old. OK, so ancient people used to celebrate the solstice because it meant that the days would start getting longer after this point in the year and later Christians mangled Norse tradition, Mithra worship, and a bunch of other stuff and that's what we have today. No, that won't work either. (As of now, I'm going with, "It's the time of year we tell people we love that we love them, and we give them presents to show our gratitude for all they do for us and for loving us." We'll see how well that holds up.)

But thinking about the "true" meaning of Christmas and trying to explain it to a two year old has kind of forced me to think about the holiday in a new way. It was always so busy a time of the year and so steeped in tradition that it was pretty easy to just ignore all the incongruities of celebrating (and enjoying) Christmas without believing in Christ. But there was always that subconscious nagging.

The lyrics and tone of Minchin's voice in White Wine in the Sun really struck a chord with me and resonated in head. It helped crystallize that strange dichotomy that had been ever-present in my head, but just too weird and inconvenient to deal with up to this point. In fact, before hearing that song, I'm not sure I even realized just how much of a splinter in my subconscious it had become.

"And yes I have all of the usual objections to consumerism
The commercialisation of ancient religions
And the westernisation of a dead Palestinian
Press-ganged into selling Playstations and beer
But I still really like it"

The way in which he uses his voice to shrug his shoulders while saying, "But I still really like it," is precisely the problem I have. I know better, but dammit, I still really like it. How is that possible?

Well, as an adult now I've come back to how I felt about Christmas as a child, and I've decided that's the best way to think about it. It's the most pure and healthy way. For me, it's about being with those you love and showing them you love them by taking some time to think about and buying a gift that you know they will love. Because you know them well and you spent the time trying to find that perfect thing for them. And then you get to give it to them. And then you get to snarf on some great food and watch your parents play with your kids. It's about knowing with every ounce of me that my daughter would love the gifts we got her to challenger her mind and push her creativity, but that she'd still take her new Diego truck to bed. (Diego was the gift I left unwrapped and on top of the pile for the big morning. And yes, she hasn't put it down since.) It's about the hug I get from her after she opens her last gift and the sleepy head she rests on my shoulder as she approaches an exhaustion-required nap time. That's Christmas to me. And that's what I really like. And that's more important than wrestling religious dogma and consumerism.

What I've learned this year is that it's OK to enjoy Christmas whole-heartedly, even as an atheist.

These are the people
Who'll make you feel safe in the world
My sweet blue-eyed girl

That's what I've learned is my mission now at Christmas. To ensure my kids have that same feeling about those that love them that I had as a child. My parents didn't let the things that bothered them about Christmas get in the way of those feelings, and I'm taking that lesson to heart.

My Christmas Album

For all of us non-believers that still really enjoy christmas (with a small C) I've compiled a holiday album full of songs to help you get into the spirit without grinding on your sense of reason. Not everything is Christmas related and some isn't even wintery, but I don't care. They make me happy put together in an album for the holidays anyway. I hope you enjoy it as much as I've enjoyed putting it together.

Gadhimai Mela and Thanksgiving

Often in our day to day lives we're presented with examples of things we've always done for the sake of religion that are destructive or even inhumane. And today in Nepal an old barbaric tradition was kept alive.

The world's biggest animal sacrifice began in Nepal today with the killing of the first of more than 250,000 animals as part of a Hindu festival in the village of Bariyapur, near the border with India.

A quick Google search for Gadhimai Mela will give you lots and lots of links to animal lovers and western religious groups lamenting the slaughter of all these animals.

What is it about this festival that so bothers our Western sense of civility? Is it the seemingly barbaric nature of the religious rite or is it the stories of decapitation of thousands of animals in front of crowds? Perhaps it's a bit of both.

But in the U.S. we slaughter more cattle each and every week than will be killed in the entirety of the festival- 90,000 cows a day in fact. In the U.S. cattle are typically hung by their hind legs to make the slitting of their throats easier. Is that really better than decapitation in devotion to a goddess? Why do we condemn the Nepalese and build statues of cattle on the old stockyards in Omaha just a few miles from my home?

The meat and hides from the slaughter at Gadhimai Melawill be sold or given away to those in attendance or local governmental or business interests. One could argue that it's not a particularly fair way to distribute the profits, but that misses the point.Ritualistic killing of animals for religious reasons is stupid. Not only is it wasteful and cruel to the animals and reeking of corruption and indoctrination, it diverts our energies from more useful activities. The problem with Gadhimai Mela is not the animal slaughter. We slaughter more animals in just as cruel ways all the time.

The problem is that these poor people are being led to believe that if they take their families to watch the blood soak the earth then their goddess will be pleased enough to grant them their wishes.


Believing in gods or goddesses doesn't give you moral authority to do wasteful, stupid, and distracting things. It just makes you stupid and superstitious.

Raise your cattle, Nepalese. Enjoy that steak. Carve your turkey, Americans. Enjoy that drumstick. But how about this year instead of pretending that decapitating a buffalo or thanking Yahweh for our machine-slaughtered turkey, we all aspire to be better stewards of our livestock in return for being so delicious? And instead of pretending that the killing and eating of those animals and praying over their carcases will bring us heavenly rewards, we go out and make another person's existence better in this life?

We can spare a free range drumstick for someone that might otherwise go without, and it will do more good then all the Thanksgiving prayers and righteous indignation we could ever muster.



I'd like to be sure to give credit where credit is due. Images used are from: http://blog.xnepali.com/
http://www.hankstruckpictures.com/

http://skepticalteacher.files.wordpress.com/

Sticky Note Power

Ah, the power of the sticky note. That little piece of genius has freed me from brainlock once again.

Sometimes when your faced with a problem that is just too big to wrap your head around it is tough knowing where to start. I am the type of person that likes to see the big picture before I dive into the details, so figuring out that big picture from a big pile of details can leave me stuck in analysis paralysis.

I've been dealing with a problem at work about how to best start an effort moving that has been stalled out for a very long time. Everyone agrees that the end game is a good idea, and everyone wants to do the work, but nobody has been able to figure out how to get started. And I have to admit that I beat my head against that same wall myself for over a month. Then, I decided I had to change my perspective.

When Sherlock Holmes would get stuck on a particular problem, sometimes he'd climb up on a piece of furniture to look at a room in a new way. The theory was that if you can radically change your perspective new things can emerge from the new way of looking at your problem. That same theory is at the heart of my sticky note technique.

The technique is basically an effort to break apart logically grouped tasks, ideas, and issues and to recombine them in new ways until a new picture jumps out at you. So, in this circumstance, I started pouring through my inherited lists of requirements, budgets, issues docs, use cases, anything I could get my hands on. And every time I came across a new piece of information I wrote it on a sticky note and stuck it on my wall. I didn't care if the information was an outstanding task, a risk, a needed capability, or whatever. If it represented potential work, it went on a sticky note.

You'll find that as you write and stick your notes on the wall logical groupings will emerge. Often that first set of groupings will be how you stick the notes on the wall. But soon, you'll see that lots of notes don't fit nicely into the groups you had in your mind. Those things are the things that are preventing you from moving forward. They're good. Keep writing them down. Try to create new groups in which to put those notes.

Eventually, you'll start moving notes. Ones you thought were in one grouping really belonged with a bunch of stuff you didn't have in any group at all. Don't be afraid to abandon your old groupings. Those old groups are what has gotten you into this problem in the first place. Reorder and regroup your sticky notes over and over until their groupings just feel right and every note has a home.

Then, it's time to cull the weak notes. Start combining and eliminating notes. Try to get your notes to the same level of granularity. Chances are some of the things you thought you needed to do aren't really that important after all when you see your new groupings. Set them aside or chuck them in the trash.

Once you feel you have good groupings, then lay out a basic timeline on a big wall and start slotting each of those notes into the timelines you'd like to hit. Use horizontal rows to show basic dependency.

Presto! You now have a new plan of attack and can build out your more detailed execution plan.

Meaningful Metrics

Where is the line that separates process for the sake of process and process that adds value for most of the people most of the time?

How does one develop technology metrics that are meaningful to the majority of efforts without misrepresenting those that don't fit the measure?

I've run software development projects in a wide variety of environments and with a wide variety of methodologies. I've been a scrum master and I've guided traditional waterfall teams. And I've become increasingly convinced over the years that the only really meaningful metrics for teams are customer satisfaction-based. Metrics like agile velocity and traditional on time/scope/budget metrics can be useful as a guide as you progress through your efforts, but at the end of each project those metrics were not nearly as meaningful as how happy my customer was with the end product.

As you start any development effort take some time to identify how you know whether or not you succeeded. Then, choose the methodology that best supports that end game. Sometimes, speed is everything and other times predictability is everything. You can set yourself up best to succeed if you understand what is most important to each of the stakeholders you impact, and that includes your development team.

Then, you have to develop three sets of metrics.

The first set of metrics is in support of your chosen methodology. Are you measuring velocity accurately in an agile world and are you controlling scope and timelines in a traditional model? How are you controlling for quality? It matters little what methodology you chose as long as you ensure that you control for and measure the things about that effort that matter to your stakeholders and introduce risk to your efforts. Use this set of metrics to drive your effort to completion and success.

The second set of metrics is in support of measuring a project's success. Assuming that on scope, on time, and on budget is the definition of success for every project is just as bad as assuming waterfall or Scrum is the right software development methodology for every project. If your stakeholders indicate that revenue increases are the definition of success, then that had better be your success metric. And you had better find a way to measure that metric, even if it means more development work. There is always a way to isolate and measure those success factors if you build specifically to support those metrics. Let's use our increased revenue example as a test. How could you isolate revenue increases due to a web site change when there are a million other factors that could also impact revenue? Split A/B deployment and measurement is a potential solution that jumps to mind. But if you don't build specifically to support the measurement of that goal, then you'll never be able to quantify your effort.

Finally, the last set of metrics you need are ones that give you visibility across efforts. I recommend you develop a satisfaction scale that is independent of any specific success factor. Then, for each effort you undertake, map the project's success factors to degrees of satisfaction. Then include a subjective component to the satisfaction measure for an aggregate metric system that can measure different types of projects similarly independent of their methodology or definitions of success.

The bottom line is that measurement of your efforts is critical to your success. Just don't confuse metrics that facilitate the successful development of your software with the set of metrics that measure its success. They often are very different sets of things to measure. Give them both the attention they deserve and you set yourself up for success.

The New Husker Normal

I debated how best respond to a request by a buddy to talk some smack at Husker fans after their loss to Iowa State this last weekend. After thinking about it I decided that the best way to handle this would be to allow Husker fans the time to fully absorb the loss so that they would be prepared for the olive branch I am about to extend. I’m here to help you, Husker Fan. Let me give you some advice…

I’m not sure how many of you read periodicals on economics (OK, I’m sure not a single one of you does), so allow me to introduce you to a new concept that is being explored in a post-financial melt-down era. It’s something that has become known as The New Normal. In a nutshell, the New Normal is a realization that the collective consciousness of the American consumer has changed in light of the new credit realities. And because of this, they have changed their consumption habits to more adequately handle credit and savings balance and risk management issues. The effect of this collective change is that many economists do not expect there to be a traditional recovery from this recession. We have simply established a new normal, if you will.

So, how does this have anything to do with being a Husker fan? Well, I think it’s time you came to grips with the New Husker Normal as well. Things have changed in Husker Nation and if you keep behaving like it’s 1997 then you’re going to set yourself up for crushing disappointment after crushing disappointment. Just as economists have had to revise their economic outlooks, it is time for you to revise your football outlooks. It is really crucial to your sanity to make this adjustment. It is for your own good.

As the fan of a team that is not among the elite powerhouse programs, I feel I can offer you some insightful advice that will help you in your adjustment. I offer this advice purely from the goodness of my heart, one second-tier football program to another. Consider it a Missouri River Peace Offering. These truths maybe painful for you to handle today, but believe me- if you accept them you set yourself up for a much happier football experience going forward.

1. You are no longer one of the nation’s football elite schools. “Yes we are!” you say. “We are Nebraska. We have a storied and long tradition. It is impossible for us to not be an elite school.” Well, let me submit two other examples of schools that have fallen from grace. And those examples were your two biggest out of conference rivals during your glory years. When you look at them in a mirror you can see Herbie Husker staring right back at you. I submit to you Miami and Florida State.

a. It was inconceivable in 2003 that Miami would become an also-ran, but they have. They had won four consecutive Big East championships and a national championship in 2001. They won an NCAA record 34 consecutive games from 2000 to 2002. Now look at them. No conference titles in six years. They miss a bowl game in 2007 and play in the MPC Computers Bowl in 2006 and the Emerald Bowl (where they lose) last year. If Miami can become irrelevant, so can Nebraska. In fact, as irrelevant as you probably think they are, they have had more success more recently than Nebraska.

b. Florida State won two national championships in the 90’s. They have won conference championships five times since 2000. Now look at them. 2004 = 3 losses. 2005 = 5 losses. 2006 = 6 loses. 2007 = 6 loses. 2008 = 4 loses. 2009 = 4 and 3 so far. Florida State is a laughing stock in a laughing stock of a conference. But wasn’t it just yesterday Nebraska was chasing Charlie Ward? No, Husker Fan. That was 16 years ago. Yes, read that again. It has been 16 years.

c. Do I even need to bring up Notre Dame?

You didn’t think it could happen to you, but it has. Nebraska, you are Miami and Florida State. All of the things you think about those two schools the rest of the nation thinks about you. It’s time you came to grips with that.

2. Your coaches are no longer Gods. They are human, and as such are fallible. Your coaching staff is subject to the same degree of scrutiny and second-guessing that nearly every other coach in the nation has. You will be frustrated with play calls. You will be frustrated with recruiting. You will be frustrated with personnel choices. And you no longer can rest easy in the comfort of knowing that the coaching staff obviously knows more than you do and that you should just defer to their obviously superior judgments. Your coaching staff has done less to earn respect than at least half of the other coaches in your conference. From now on, you are going to be alternatively frustrated and delighted with your coaches. Get used to the roller coaster.

3. Your margin for error when you play a game is much, much smaller than it used to be. On any given Saturday you could lose to a horrid Iowa State team even after they have their best two players miss the game with injuries. Everyone now believes they can beat you, and more often than ever, they will.

4. You’re going to have to earn your rankings and if you lose you’re going to fall out of the polls. Get used to not being ranked. Your New Normal is that things are going well if you’re in the top 20. Expect to be among the “others getting votes” at the beginning of the season.

5. There is no more “reloading” at the end of a year. Your good years are going to be when your best players are juniors and seniors. When your best players are young and the older guys suck, be happy you’re playing in Shreveport after the regular season. And if you don’t make it to a BCS game when you have that window of opportunity, be prepared to not get back there for a while. Zach Lee is the best you’ve got at QB. There are going to be years like that. Learn to deal with it without having the entire state scream for a backup that is even less ready.

6. Having a defensive guy as head coach can be infuriatingly frustrating. When the offense sucks all your head coach can do about it is stare at the team and pout at press conferences.

7. Your new rivals are the teams that you used to stomp on a regular basis. Texas and Oklahoma consider you irrelevant, just as you used to consider Missouri and Kansas irrelevant. Get used to it. Missouri and Kansas are your new peer group. Embrace their attempts at declaring you rivals, because by every measure but your own, you are rivals.

So, in conclusion, I would like to officially welcome you to the ranks of the teams you once considered beneath you. I recommend that you embrace this new station in life; pretending that you’re something you’re not is just delaying the inevitable. You have nice new regional rivals to play with. Enjoy the closeness of the Missouri and Kansas rivalries. Enjoy the conversations with Iowa fans about which team is better this year. Those debates can be fun. We’ve been having good natured conversations with Wisconsin fans for years. Take your coaching staff down off the pedestals on which you have placed them. They’re fair game for criticism, and whining about the coaching staff while still supporting the team is a fun skill to attempt to master.

Trust me. When you embrace who you truly are, life can be so much better. When you fail to make a bowl game, filling out those bowl pick sheets at the end of the year isn’t quite so hard. And when you do achieve that one magical season like Iowa is this year, it feels so damn good to rub it in the faces of those teams that you’ve heard call you an also-ran for years and years.

It’s time for you to embrace the New Husker Normal. It’s really for your own good.

Welcome to Blind Pitiless Indifference

Welcome to Blind Pitiful Indifference.

I named this blog after a quote by Richard Dawkins.

“The universe we observe has precisely the properties we should expect if there is, at bottom, no design, no purpose, no evil, no good, nothing but blind, pitiless indifference” Richard Dawkins, River Out of Eden: A Darwinian View of Life (1995)

I love that quote because I firmly because the universe doesn’t care about us that it’s up to us to care about each other and make the most of the amazing ride we’re on. That’s why I’m here. Life’s too short to not have a forum to shout into the aether about whatever happens to be on your mind.

Over the years I’ve fired up and taken down several blog sites, each one an attempt at tackling a specific topic. Each time I found I couldn’t keep myself focused on any single thing long enough to contribute enough content to keep things interesting.

I debated about the wisdom of creating a blog to contain all of my varied ramblings, but concluded that there could not be a single other person on the planet that would share my unique, eclectic combination of interests. I mean who wants to read about String Theory one day, parenting issues the next, and my latest business intelligence thoughts the next? Damned if I know, but I concluded that I just don’t care.

So, I hope you find some things interesting and some things make you think and others just make you laugh. I promise I’ll be opinionated about just about everything. Hopefully you’ll end up caring about more stuff than you do not. And if it’s the other way around, then tough; at least my kids can someday read about what went on in the strange mind of their dad.