But Christmas is difference. You're not confronted with it every day like many other situations. It only comes around once a year after all. And every year it seems to be different.
When I was a little kid, it was about Santa and the whole presents thing. Then you figure out Santa is pretend just like every other kid eventually does and it becomes about all the other stuff that every kid thinks about Christmas. It's about getting good presents, getting good at giving good presents, good eats, and visiting Grandma's house. It's about and music and lights on the tree and anticipation of what is to come and listening to the Muppets and John Denver's Christmas album.
Then, as a young adult it becomes more about learning independence. For the first time you have the freedom to decorate your own house as you see fit. You develop the rationalization that it's ok to celebrate because it's almost all pagan stuff anyway. You send cheeky Christmas cards saying Happy Solstice.
Then you have kids of your own. Now, things are more complicated. I spent the first Christmas after my daughter was born thinking about how I was going to handle Santa. (I've decided to tell her from the beginning that Santa is pretend just like Elmo. And that Elmo isn't any less fun because he's pretend, so Santa can be fun too.)
But now, I feel like I need to teach her what Christmas is all about. What do you tell a two year old about Christmas? It reminds me of Southpark's Cartman's rendition of Holy Night. "Jesus was born, so I get preseants." That just seems wack to tell a two year old. OK, so ancient people used to celebrate the solstice because it meant that the days would start getting longer after this point in the year and later Christians mangled Norse tradition, Mithra worship, and a bunch of other stuff and that's what we have today. No, that won't work either. (As of now, I'm going with, "It's the time of year we tell people we love that we love them, and we give them presents to show our gratitude for all they do for us and for loving us." We'll see how well that holds up.)
But thinking about the "true" meaning of Christmas and trying to explain it to a two year old has kind of forced me to think about the holiday in a new way. It was always so busy a time of the year and so steeped in tradition that it was pretty easy to just ignore all the incongruities of celebrating (and enjoying) Christmas without believing in Christ. But there was always that subconscious nagging.
The lyrics and tone of Minchin's voice in White Wine in the Sun really struck a chord with me and resonated in head. It helped crystallize that strange dichotomy that had been ever-present in my head, but just too weird and inconvenient to deal with up to this point. In fact, before hearing that song, I'm not sure I even realized just how much of a splinter in my subconscious it had become.
"And yes I have all of the usual objections to consumerism
The commercialisation of ancient religions
And the westernisation of a dead Palestinian
Press-ganged into selling Playstations and beer
But I still really like it"
The way in which he uses his voice to shrug his shoulders while saying, "But I still really like it," is precisely the problem I have. I know better, but dammit, I still really like it. How is that possible?
Well, as an adult now I've come back to how I felt about Christmas as a child, and I've decided that's the best way to think about it. It's the most pure and healthy way. For me, it's about being with those you love and showing them you love them by taking some time to think about and buying a gift that you know they will love. Because you know them well and you spent the time trying to find that perfect thing for them. And then you get to give it to them. And then you get to snarf on some great food and watch your parents play with your kids. It's about knowing with every ounce of me that my daughter would love the gifts we got her to challenger her mind and push her creativity, but that she'd still take her new Diego truck to bed. (Diego was the gift I left unwrapped and on top of the pile for the big morning. And yes, she hasn't put it down since.) It's about the hug I get from her after she opens her last gift and the sleepy head she rests on my shoulder as she approaches an exhaustion-required nap time. That's Christmas to me. And that's what I really like. And that's more important than wrestling religious dogma and consumerism.
What I've learned this year is that it's OK to enjoy Christmas whole-heartedly, even as an atheist.
These are the people
Who'll make you feel safe in the world
My sweet blue-eyed girl
That's what I've learned is my mission now at Christmas. To ensure my kids have that same feeling about those that love them that I had as a child. My parents didn't let the things that bothered them about Christmas get in the way of those feelings, and I'm taking that lesson to heart.
